Great advice on how to deal with death....

I recently found out that a friend of mine had passed away about two weeks ago. So in having talked to my friend's whom were all grieving (rest in peace Jaron), I asked AD for some advice on how to deal with these situations. Since this won't be the last time this situation occurs, I wanted to know from his experience (he's a paramedic for those who don't know) how to talk to the families of lost loved ones. I expected a return email, instead I got about the best advice I could received in this situation with a full blown post. I highly recommend reading the full post here because it's amazing how well written it is and how intricately he describes the situations (I warn you its quite sad). The answer is quite simple really, do what you can. But the ending of the post is something that every medical student, EMT, paramedic, doctor or anyone that deals with situations like these should read.

"These little recollections were brought to mind by an e-mail I received from one of my readers, a medical student who seeks the proper words to ease the grief of a loved ones' passing, or the proper approach to the family of a dying patient. Seeking words of balm, in other words.

There are no proper words, Rav. Medical school will teach you how to improve and extend life, how to ease physical pain and suffering, perhaps even how to save a life if the situation presents. Where the training, and advice like mine, always falls short is in what to do when there is nothing left to be done.

You'll read the words of Elizabeth Kubler Ross, if you haven't already, and you'll be taught how to recognize and deal with the five stages of grief. You'll be taught to use words like "death" and "dead" and to avoid platitudes and euphemisms like "passed on" or "in a better place."

And all of that will fail if you do not feel compassion. If you do feel compassion, most of that knowledge will be rendered irrelevant. Don't let the grind of your education beat the compassion out of you.

Compassion is the one thing that traverses all cultural and religious boundaries. It is universally understood, be you atheist, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or Pagan.

And it need not always be expressed in words.

Hope that answers your question."


Thanks AD, it did.

Till next time.....................